Ending Things Takes Cajones..Here’s How to Get Them

It was the relationship that needed to end but yet it persisted.  He told me he didn’t really want to be in a relationship but, at the same time, did not want me to be with anyone else.  And I kept quoting the famous line from Brokeback Mountain to myself: “I wish I knew how to quit you!”  We both had a hard time moving on from the hopes we had for the relationship.  He had thought about dating me for a long time and when it finally happened, he realized he was more fascinated with the idea of me than the actual me. On my end, I was so excited to be finally dating again, I wasn’t ready to go back to the dateless life. 

So, we found ourselves at an impasse. And unfortunately, it took me reaching a state of misery to end things.  Why did I need to suffer before I took action?  I mean, really!  What is that all about?!  I needed to figure myself out because I did not want to find myself in this position ever again.  The best advice I got came from a friend who said, “all you really need to know that you’re making the right decision is to speak out loud what’s actually happening.”

Here is an edited version of my take: “I’m dating this guy who made me feel really good about myself because he said he had the biggest crush on me. But as the weeks go by, he is more and more distant. He can’t seem to find time for me. I’ve become second place to his friends. But he’s a nice kisser so there’s that! And I’ve been telling myself it’s worth putting up with his nonsense but I’m pretty miserable.”  My predominant thought switched from the idea of, “I really need this” to the decision that “Girl, you don’t need this in your life!” 

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind 💯.  Truer words were never spoken!  Dear Single Person: the next time you find yourself in a mental/emotional predicament, try speaking it out loud and see if it moves you in the direction you need to go.