Speak Up

It was the 11^th grade and I was running for class president.  This would be my first attempt at running for student government.  We had to give a speech in front of the entire class stating why people should vote for us.  I got to the podium and straight up froze.  You can’t really classify what came out of my mouth as words; it was verbal gobbly-gook.  I wasn’t making any sense while desperately trying to.  I still remember the look of distressed confusion on Marisol’s face.  As you can guess, I was not elected that year.  Ever since then, whenever I feel nervous speaking in front of others, I remind myself that whatever I say is already better than the 11^th grade.

I was always fascinated by people who seemed to have no fear of public speaking.  But then I began to admire the people who were able to stand up in front of others and tell the truth about themselves.  I have many a friend who has done this remarkably well.  My friend Harmony created a non-profit called Treasures helping women get out of the sex industry and it all started with her telling the truth about her own life.  My friend Ashley wrote a whole book about telling the truth about yourself, aptly named Rise of the Truth Teller.

Stories are in us and they need to be told.  I recently attended a speaker series event called BOLD whose mission is for us to know that we are empowered through our vulnerability.  Hold up!  Wait a minute!!  That’s not how most of us operate in this here world.  Growing up, most of us certainly weren’t encouraged to be that open with others.  I grew up pre-black girl magic in a time where most black girls were directly and indirectly taught that our identity would fall into one of two boxes:  either the ‘strong black woman’ or the ‘angry black woman’.  But neither of those boxes allows for you to be your authentic self.  Maybe you’re reading this and you can identify in some way.  Maybe you’ve grown up learning to be seen and not heard.  Maybe you’re so well practiced at keeping things to yourself, the thought of speaking up feels more like fantasy than reality.  Maybe you can picture yourself being bold but in real life, you’ve been more like Shy Ronnie.

These past few years have been an exercise in overcoming my silence.  It’s partly the reason why I started blogging.  Every time I write something for others to know that they are not alone, I am also reminding myself that I, in particular, need to say it.  We must start telling our stories.  They matter.  And if you’re prone to believe that no one cares, please know that the first person that has to care is you; get that straight and expand from there.  What’s your story?  Please start telling it. 

When people talk about ‘finding your voice’, I translate that to mean knowing your value.  My 16 year-old self didn’t give up after a rough start and decades later, she is still working out some kinks.  Friend, especially my Introverted Friends, I’m curious.  How do you go about developing and strengthening your voice?  Comment below, even if your answer is “I have no idea”.  I’d love to know what you do to speak up.