Depression Series, Part 2: Hello Black History Month – Let’s Talk About Depression

My grandfather was my favorite person on the face of the earth.  I was such a big fan of his.  When I was a child, I absolutely adored him.  Just to name a few reasons: he was kind, he hummed songs to himself, and he drove a pristine, always-looked-&-smelled-like-it-just-came-straight-off-the-lot Cadillac, with white leather interior.

As I think about my grandfather’s life and everything I loved about him, I would like you to know that he was one of the many unsung heroes of Black History Month.  It’s not just a list of achievements that made him exemplary but the example he provided for how to use your past and present to create a better future.

Back in the late 1930’s, my grandfather’s profession in rural Louisiana was sharecropping, which became a sought after job for poor blacks and whites who could not afford to own their own land.  For many reasons, one could just call it slavery redux.  It was because my grandfather envisioned the future he wanted to have, all the while knowing that sharecropping was a dead end, that he was motivated to move west and create a better life for his family.

This African-American History month, I am excited at the prospect of how we can create better lives for generations yet to come.  The focus is different from the celebrations I’ve seen growing up in that I am suggesting we place emotional & mental self-care at the forefront of this Month’s purpose. 

Brief History from Then to Now

We started out with Negro History Week (the second week of February was chosen as it coincided with the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas). The inception of Negro History Week is credited to Carter G. Woodson who believed that the awareness, acknowledgement, and teaching of black history must be a vibrant pursuit within the United States.  Woodson believed that in the absence of this work, the culture would “stand in danger of being exterminated.”  The focus was initially on history, which explains why the month has a concentrated focus on achievements.

I first became aware of this need when I was in high school. My United States history book explained the Civil War without one mention of slavery.  I remember the teacher letting us know the day the lesson was over and that the next day we would move on to a different event.  I asked, “Well isn’t this when slavery took place?”  She said, “yes.”  And that was the entire slavery conversation related to the Civil War.  The next day we indeed moved on and it is the first memory I have of feeling personally undervalued and historically invisible.  The slaveless Civil War is just one educational example of the myriad of ways that African-American children are inducted into a socially constructed reality of being physically present and invisible at the same time.  Having children in school right now, I still see invisibilization within the school system.  Its effects, at its worst, means that our children are learning subconscious lessons of a lack of value that are damaging to a developing mind/psyche.

Where Are We Now?

I know that to be true from personal experience.  In the past few weeks, I have just started to acknowledge that the bullying I experienced in junior high made a lasting impact on how I perceive my value in this world. At the time, I told myself that everything was going to be okay and I would quickly disregard any emotions that surfaced.  I never dealt with the emotional impact of that experience.  I don’t know about you, but the coping skills I learned growing up were along the lines of “sticks and stones…” and “walk it off.”   Yet now I understand that the silence and disregard became a habit that showed up multiple times throughout my life.

While I was in graduate school, I had the honor of attending a lecture given by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and he said something that I found to be revolutionary at the time (the mid 90’s).  He said that if he could afford it, he would pay for every African-American to go to therapy because we’re all depressed and we don’t know it.  At the time that he said it, therapy was not on our socially approved list of activities.  It would have been something many people would never talk about openly.  Emotional silence was passed down through the generations.  Today, however, we have the freedom to create and establish new traditions that serve the health of our community, on an individual and collective basis.

The first time I saw this shirt, I felt a profound sense of value return to me. 

And then I cried…….a lot 🙂

This shirt reminds me that the life that I have the freedom to live was at one time only a dream.  As free as I am, there are deeper freedoms to be had.  Nowadays, the history I am most interested in making is the work we do within ourselves. 

Let us all do what we can to develop the skill to observe our own thoughts and beliefs, identify what is unhealthy or toxic, reject the toxicity, and adopt a healthy thought & create a new belief system.   Easier said than done, but nonetheless the goal.  Thankfully, there is no shortage of opportunities to guide you towards who you are meant to be: journaling, Grief Recovery, therapy, a Bible study (check with your local church), a 12-step program, a faith-based 12-step program, a community support group, YouTube, less sugar, more exercise, etc.  Whatever methods you choose to become your best self, good on ya!   And may the stories being told for generations to come shine a spotlight on what we did to become our best selves.

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