You Might Be Depressed If…
It was January when I decided I needed to leave Los Angeles and move back to the Bay Area to be closer to my dad. That March, my boyfriend, who also lived in Northern California, proposed to me. I moved in May. My entire life changed in a matter of months but I felt ready and prepared for all the change. I had an unconscious “I got this!” attitude about the whole situation.
One day I was busy minding my own business when my fiancé asked me out of the blue, “Are you depressed?” I responded quickly with an adamant “Noooo,”. “What a weird question,” I thought. Besides, I had no time for sadness because I had way too many things on my plate at the time. And after all, I’m a Grief Recovery Specialist; my life’s work revolves around recovery. So I basically got this on GP (meaning general principle; #GenX). But if you were to examine my behavior, one would see (as my now husband did) that I don’t completely got this!
There were a few you are not like yourself traits that he noticed but there was only one that was obvious to me. I might be depressed if…..I struggle to get out of bed. I joked about it on Facebook. I posted that I was magnetically drawn to my bed. That was before I realized that it was actually a situation. Once I got out of bed, I could function throughout the day but, My Lord, that getting up part!
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can be so quick to say “everything’s fine” that I don’t pause long enough to realize that something in my life is not fine. But the truth has a way of making itself known. Even if I miss all the clues, my behavior brings the truth to the surface.
Behind my ‘I got this’ theory was the uprooting of everything I knew: my home, friends, job/career, LA weather; you name it; it all changed. I just got so busy with life I didn’t provide myself with enough space to feel all of my feelings.
Dear Friend: I am thinking about you today. Are you busy rushing through the demands of daily life that you don’t believe you have time to have a feeling? But do you, at the same time, recognize that your life is not as happy as it used to be? While you might not be one to ever call yourself depressed, you just might be. Depression doesn’t have one look. Even if you go through life with the spirit and appearance of I got this, life’s changes and/or disappointments may have a deeper effect than you acknowledge. For instance, you might be depressed if you believe you’ll never get married or have a happy marriage, you might be depressed if you’re convinced you’ll never get that job, you might be depressed if you believe your turn will never come; you might be depressed if the things you used to love to do now are kinda meh; you might be depressed if it’s a struggle to love yourself or others.
I had to come to grips with the fact that my struggle to get out of bed was an indicator of depression. My confession was the beginning of my healing. I’ve heard Pastor Rick Warren say, “You can’t heal what you don’t reveal.” Dear Friend: If you recognize yourself in this conversation, let today be the day that you tell the truth about yourself. I encourage you to talk to someone: a friend, a therapist, a Pastor, a Grief Recover Specialist who has the ability to listen to you (and not tell you how to feel). And then I pray that you are led in the direction of healing that is uniquely tailored to your needs. We’re all in this together. Let us be honest about the journey and love each other forward.