I’m Going to Go Get Sushi and Cry

 

“Did she really just say that?!!”  

We had waited weeks for a phone consultation to start the process of getting help with infertility.  As a result of the phone call, plus the detailed questionnaire we had to fill out, we would be given next steps for the process.  I was not prepared for our next steps to be, “Give up.  It’s not going to happen for you.” I asked the consultation nurse on three separate occasions to hold so I can add my husband to the call.  She ignored those requests, I’m assuming because it’s easier to attempt to crush one person’s dreams than the dreams of two people.  I eventually got Angelo on the phone as the nurse proceeded to try her best to convince us that I would never be able to get pregnant.

The main points that the nurse felt the need to reiterate in hopes of us accepting her doom were:

1. Your eggs are too old.  There’s no way you have any healthy eggs left.   (I can’t count how many times she repeated that.  Note to anyone reading this who has heard this reason as well: The. Only. Way. To. Know. The. Quality. Of. Your. Eggs. Is. To. Be. Tested.)
2. You have false hope because of all these celebrities you hear about who are having babies in their late 40’s.  They’ll never tell you the truth about what they really did to get a baby.
3. Trust me.  I’ve been doing this for a very long time.  I’ve never seen anyone your age (which was 46 at the time) have a successful pregnancy.  Plus I have lots of resources to send your way which verify what I’m telling you.

Angelo and I began texting each other in order to process what we were hearing come out of her mouth:

Angelo: “Why is she trying to come off like she’s a concerned mother while at the same time being so unloving in the actual words coming out of her mouth?!”

Jocelyn:  “Exactly!  She apparently has no interest in what we have to say so…..”

Angelo:  “I’m sorry you were subjected to this person”

Jocelyn:  “I’m going to go get sushi and cry”

Despite her suggestion to give up, I refused. I didn’t trust her. She got me wondering, what did other women my age do? Were all the celebrities suppressing the truth of their success like she said? I spent a lot of time doing research and  I found an article that gave me some answers. 

This article made me realize that so many of us women are in the same boat when it comes to infertility and that we should regularly share our stories about what we did to get pregnant. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do in my next article. While you wait for that article, make sure to read my previous article where I talk about keeping the faith as you advocate for yourself and your desire to have a child.